I miss you Dad.

somebody's watching me
Originally uploaded by hiitscj.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday. I wish he was here to celebrate it! I am sitting in my room looking at the ceiling fan circulating and feeling such an emptiness inside. I can't describe this emotion but I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy. It's been over two years but when the sun rises it will seem like it was just yesterday that my father was looking at me with his bright wide eyes and saying hello miss Shirley. I miss laying on his shoulder and I miss the security that I felt in his arms. I miss his beautiful smile and I remember always trying to see myself in his gold tooth. I miss him singing... What a wonderful world and me trying to sing lower than his deep bass note was. I miss his barbeque chicken that smelled like it was ready when in reality he had only seasoned it.... I miss trying to sneak a piece of that chicken and he would call my name just as the chicken touched my lips. I miss him singing Bow down in church and I miss him preaching that southern gospel word of God.
I miss the way he smelled. I could never figure out the fragrance because he would always mix and match designer colognes to get HIS perfect scent. I miss him wiping my tears and sometimes I wouldn't tell him why I was crying but what was incredible is that he never really asked me why. I wish he could wipe my tears right now as they flow uncontrollably down my face, and around me, life goes on. My husband is downstairs, my niece and nephews are there with him. My sons are in their rooms and I sit here alone and thinking GOD I MISS YOU DAD.
Mother said that this picture was a typical day in my childhood. Papa would just sit on the bed and look at me. I wonder if Papa can see me now. I know he would be prouder than he ever was before of me. I am becoming the little girl he wanted me to be. I wish I would have caused him less trouble and grief and used those "do better" conversations to get closer to him. I miss you dad. I really miss you. I will see you again. until then God needs to find alot a bottles to store my tears in because theu are flowing like a river.

I miss you Dad!

When the sun comes up....

Setter
Originally uploaded by pfflyers1.

What will you do?
CJ

The photo says it all!

five little piggies
Originally uploaded by twoHands.

If your feet sees any type of daylight... walk in that direction.

Have you blinked?

It seems like yesterday that I was running around living my life like I wanted to. I had these handsome boys and my mother and all her wisdom said Cheryl before you know it YOU WILL BLINK and those boys will be grown and living their own life. I did the usual, I laughed at mom, thanked her for the advice and continued to live my life. I found this photo and again, the tears flowed. Look at them, aren't they the most beautiful kids you have ever seen. Bug looks straight the camera just to say, you caught me and I don't care. RJ looks down with that sneaky smile as if to say I'm so cute if I laugh I won't get a spanking ( and he didn't that day) so what happened?
I blinked, then they went to pre-school and I continued to live my life. I blinked and they went to middle school and silly me still didn't get it. They were slowly developing into men. I kept living my life and doing things my way. Yes, occasionally we had our good times but for the most part I was with friends and laughing with other family members instead of with them. I had them at the other end of the table at Luby's when they wanted to be next to me. But we had grown up stuff to discuss (that was my excuse) . I blinked and now they don't want to sit at our table. Now they don't even want to go to Lubys anymore. I blinked and my oldest son graduated and is now preparing to move out. I blinked and my youngest son has his own mind and his own philosophy of life. Then I opened my eyes and blinked so much from tears locking under my cheeks. I immediatley heard my mothers voice whispering to me, you'll blink she said, you'll blink. If you have children learn a lesson from the road I travelled. Take time to build memories. I am doing that now and thank God that it's not too late but it is later than I should have started. Cherish stolen moments with you and your child alone and make time to be with the ones who mean the world to you. I blinked and my father was gone. Sometimes, I hate closing my eyes for fear of what will happen when I BLINK.

A friend is one who knows all about you and still loves you.

No Limits!! He said yes!

It was 9:30 on Tuesday morning when picked up my blue Sony Ericsson and began to dial the number 469-583-6xxx. Was I pressed the send button I prepared myself for the worst, but prayed for the best. I asked that light bright and almost white husband of mine what was his decision regarding homeschooling our son. He said "I really don't want you to do it, but if you want to then go ahead." Without hesitation I grabbed my flip flops, put a cap on my head and ran to the Chrysler that sat in my garage on empty. Oh no, it's on empty. I had a one track mind. I was going to get to that school and withdraw my son before my husband changed his mine. My emotions were running, my adrenaline was at an all time high. I was crying and laughing. I didn't want this to be one of those ..I wish I would have done this type of decisions. So I ran to the garage screaming move Duke move... that's my dog. I pressed the garage door button, but the garage door wouldn't go up!! I ran outside to the front yard, I had guest staying at my house. I asked them for their keys because they happened to be parked in front of the mailbox so their car had to be moved. I immediately jumped in their car and my thoughts were to get to that school and then go wash their car so it would appear as if I was just doing a good deed.
My friend Tri came over as I was driving off so I put their car in park and jumped in the van with Tri. Get me to Plano High school I said, she was laughing. I made a mental note not to answer the phone until the mission was accomplished. Sometimes people will change their mind. I ran into the school out of breathe but happy to be there. They sent me on a wild goose chase from building and one hallway to the other. At one point my ankles started hurting but I limped on because I knew what the end result, I could see my finish line. Every time I went to a different area I remembered to call Tri to tell her to move her car too, she continued to laugh. After entering the third building I was greeted by the coldest woman woman sitting at a desk. She was about 45 years old, wearing glasses and a sweater in 100 degree temperature, that let me know she was cold. Her name was Debra, I approached the desk, out of breath but happy. As I wasted for her to greet me with a smile, she never looked up. I said, Debra, I need to withdraw my son. Debra said with a tone just as rough as can be, " fill out this form and where is he going." I said to a private school, she said ok. It was that simple. Now I see why I want to remove my son from the public school system. Someone needs to teach her some manners.
The word said I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. I am proud to say you are reading the blog of a PROUD HOME SCHOOLING MOTHER!!! Was there FEAR? of course there was but I overcame my reservations and all of the what if's. This Saturday my son will become enrolled in Jackson Christian Academy ( that has a nice ring to it). I am so excited about it. I feel like I am starting a new chapter in my role as a mother and wife. I see the potential of something big. I see me handing my son his diploma, I see us developing a bond that parents such as myself have dreamed about for years. I see an honor student being influenced by me and my friends and family and that makes me smile. My son, Artis, came into the room and just kissed me. I was like what was that about? he turned around and walked out. NO LIMITS... I see increase. In our conversation, in our time together, in our laughing moments and in just living.

I am so proud of myself. I am going to blog everyday about this challenge because if I can do this anyone can. I am honored to be his teacher. Yesterday a couple of his school friends came over and they told him how lucky he was for being home schooled and he agreed. Again, I am so proud. At this point in my life nothing else matters. Not money, not diamonds, nothing matters. What matters to me is to see my sons eyes light up when we talk about us working together this year. I have had countless nights where I walked the floor all night long, well maybe not walked the floored but saw myself pacing the floor in my dreams while the drool was coming down he side of my mouth and I would wake up and wonder how I could be a better person and look at how the tides have change.

I haven't heard from Deal or No Deal YET but they will be calling me soon. I am thankful today for my family and my friends who have seen who I am and are allowing me to be me. I am thankful that my lights are still on... cause its 105 degrees outside. I am thankful that I can see a shadow of my hair over my eyebrow- it's been a long time coming. I am thankful that I don't need television as a companion that I can read or just lay silently in bed while looking at my gold ceiling and let tears stream until I can taste the salt in my mouth but I am still happy. I am thankful that everyone in my family is alive. I am thankful for the glass desk and credenza that was given to me; I was told that it belonged to the VP of a prominent company and cost over $ 1,500.00 so as I look in my sitting room area (where my new desk is along with my MAC computer) I recognize how good God has been to me.
Look out world between GOD and Me there are NO LIMITS!

Food for thought; The night is not forever .

Desperate Housewife?

As I sit home I reminisce on my days in corporate America, running from desk to desk and meeting deadlines. I shutter to think that I will ever have to return to them ever again. I realize that I have become a Desperate Housewife but not the kind you watch on television. I am desperate to see a change in my life and in the lives of those that I hold near and dear to my heart. I want to see my son, RJ, obtain a good job, I want him to share with me his hopes and dreams and I want to be there for his troubles and triumphs. I am desperate to see him climb the corporate ladder of success and to play the lead guitar ( with his eyes closed). I envision my son Artis Jr. walking across the stage getting his diploma, wait is that me handing it to him. I am desperate and very scared. We have discussed homeschooling him for his senior year and I have doubts, reservations and honestly this is something I never thought I could do until now. But will I do it and be good at it? I am desperate, his future depends on our success of this home schooling program. What if I fail him. I am always up for a challenge but today I am scared. Tomorrow is decision day. If we will cross the road of home schooling I must withdraw him from the public school system tomorrow. What will we do?
I am desperate to fulfill my role as a parent in the last years of my son being home, honestly I haven't done a good job. It seems as though I get a handle on cleaning, and then I fail at cooking. How did Florida do it on Good Times? I'm going to watch some of the reruns to figure it out. The Brady Bunch family had a maid. I am a dreamer. I am desperate to make things come together before it's too late. My husband looks at me and tells me how proud he is of me? What is he proud of? Why can't I see it and feel proud of myself? I am desperate to find a place in my soul where I can rest. A place where I can have a perfect peace, where the anxieties of life doesn't take a toll on me, where chest pains are moments of the past. I am desperate to breathe a breath of fresh air and appreciate it! I am desperate to write down my own personal goals and achieve them one task at a time.
Why are the tears falling? Because I am desperate! When you reach the moment of sure desperation there is a level of intensity that overshadows you and you can close your eyes and see what success looks like. I am desperate to see success with my eyes OPEN. I want to be a part of making someone's mission impossible; possible. In a few days I will be 38 years old. My father said it best. When death came to get a beautiful woman she asked death why didn't you give me a clue that you were coming. Death said, When your hair turned grey, that was a clue. When you needed glasses, that was a clue, when your body ached day and night that was a clue. Everyday you lived was a clue that you were closer to death. I see clues of my death all around me. Perhaps I am in a world of my own, maybe nobody thinks about this but as of 10:04 p.m. My name is Cheryl Jackson and I am a Desperate Housewife. I desperately need a change. Let's see what happens tomorrow.

Psalms 30:5 .....weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Which person are you?

Some people cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

Hey it's been one week and I have managed to blog something everyday. I am so proud of myself. It takes 21 days to form a habit so I have 14 days left to keep this going. Wish me luck and I decided that I will begin to take a photo of something everyday and share it with you, I want to know do you see what I see in the photo. ... I will start tomorrow.

CJ

At the end of the day click here to view photos

At the end of the day the only thing that matters is family and friends. I attended a funeral today from a man that I had only met a couple of times but he was a dear friend to my husband. As a little girl there was this man who I admired so much that I named my first born son after him. His name was Robert Hawthorne, he was my father. As I sat in Paul's funeral I began to think about all the things I wish I had did for and with my father. One of my biggest dreams was to purchase a boat for dad and my husband to use on their fishing trips. I was about eight years old when dad took me to Lake Lavon with him. I can still see the 13.98 Walmart receipt when he bought me my first fishing rod. I also remember him spending 45.00 for his TWO new rods and that was alot of money to us. Dad would let me go fishing and I always had problems baiting my hook. It was about 8:30 a.m. and all was quite on the waters and I kept asking my dad to please come bait my hook until he finally agreed. I stepped back and gave him my rod and he said, Cheryl watch my poles. I agreed but thought to myself that nothing would happen and then to my surprise dad's line started going underwater, it was there, on his hook, one of the biggest fishes he would ever catch. Dad ook off running full speed ahead to grab that pole, I watched in unbelief, Dad was trying to pull that pole in but unfortunately it went underwater and there was nothing dad could do to save it. He was devastated and so was I. That was the day I promised myself if I ever got any money, I was going to purchase the biggest boat for daddy and we would spend hours on the lake. Needless to say, I never got enough money or credit to buy that boat and God decided to take dad home. So back to my original story. Paul told my husband that he could bring my dad out to go fishing on his boat. I can see my fathers eyes just as clearly as day, he was so excited about going to Paul's pond and getting on that boat. After he had the fishing experience of a lifetime he talked about it for days..weeks... and years. To me Paul was my fathers dream giver. He fulfilled a dream for someone that he didn't even know. As I shared this story at the funeral I saw tears streaming down the families face. You see, at the end of the day (your God given days) that is the only thing that matters. What will people say about me at the end of the day? Will a stranger tell my family that I shared a smile or gave them a dollar when they were short on change? Will a single parent say that I bought their child a pair of socks during the winter time or will an elderly person say that I just took time to listen? Will my kids say that I loved them unconditionally and my husband say that I was the best wife he will ever have? What will people say , at the end of YOUR day?

Alexander Smith says it best; Your death and my death are mainly of importance to us. Tears will dry, hurt hearts will close, and the world will continue on. It does not miss us; and those near and dear to us, when vacancy wears off, will not miss us much either......At the end of the day.

Minnie Hawthorne' Ewing's appearance on GMT

Click on the link to the WFAA website where you can enjoy reading more about my mother's appearance on the Good Morning Texas television show! ENJOY!

MON-The Gazette

http://www.monthegazette.com/ Did I mention that I am the publicist for MON The Gazette newspaper? Here is a link to the newspapers website, contact me if you have an interesting story or idea to share. You can email me at theplaintruth@msn.com.

Did you save money today? The Sisters of Savings will appear on Good Morning Texas Thursday to show you how..

My first receipt was for $209.94, I spent $ 21.40! That's 89.9% savings! Check out the photos for yourself. Looks like I will be able to clean house for one year without buying any more cleaning products. I will smell good and fresh while cleaning the house with all of the Oil of Olay soap products and should I decide to take a break I can color pictures for my friends with my 25 boxes of crayola markers. At the second store the total was 95.21 and I spent $7.03 that was a 92.7% savings. The final store was $123.23 I spent $6.40 any questions???? And yes, I will be donating some of these products to my favorite charity www.thetouchministry.com

Pastor Minnie Hawthorne on Good Morning Texas, please listen & enjoy

Author Minnie Hawthorne' Ewing, appeared on GMT,. Amy Vanderoef did a wonderful job interviewing her regarding the newly released book " Dear God, Letters to God" book. To purchase your book visit www.authorhouse.com or www.amazon.com . The book also has a place for readers to begin to journals of their own letters to God. Get your book today and then tell me what you think. Minnie is the founder of a charity called The Touch Ministry. For additional information log on to www.thetouchministry.com you'll see how her organization is changing lives in the community.

What will happen next?

This is my baby. He is a senior this year and he keeps me laughing. I want to give him so much. He is a giver and a wonderful young man. I very seldom have problems with Bugster and I love the fact that he is independent and makes his own rules. After this year, both of my sons will be out of school. What will happen next? Will he graduate and then go off to college or will he stay home and try to work with his father? Will some young thang that thinks she is marrying into a rich family catch his eye? He always tells his father that he will be a better dad so what does that mean? I wish I could squeeze him back down to infancy and start over. No I don't.
I couldn't change another dirty diaper. I guess I will settle for his hugs and kisses and now he's picking me up. I blinked ( I'll explain what that means later)

Will this lady be a millionaire this year?

Introducing, Pastor Minnie Hawthorne' Ewing.
Why is she on my blog? I'll explain later but first things first. What happened today? My eyes did light up and I was happy to see my sons walk in the room. They noticed my smile and stayed around a little more than usual. We even watched a couple of television shows today and laughed and talked together.

I cooked dinner today, I fixed my husband breakfast and lunch. I am on a roll! I began an adventure to save money. I started at Albertsons where my bill was $74.40 but I paid $11.42. I was on cloud nine and as I continued on my quest to find great deals in the store I was stopped in my tracks when I received a phone call, it was from my Mother, that's her in the photo. She is a ball of fire and for years has struggled to help change lives on a nominal budget, well next month she is going to have an opportunity to win over 20 MILLION dollars on a game show. Isn't that wonderful? Mom is also a Pastor, author, and my best friend. She will also be appearing on Good Morning Texas tomorrow to discuss her book, Dear God, Letters to God. She is always saying this is her year well, This is her year.... I am exhausted so I will have to tell you more about this adventure tomorrow. There is so much more to tell, you won't believe what God is doing. All I have to say is the words of that old negro spiritual - Soon I will be done with the troubles of this world- and NOT because I'm going home to be with the Lord.

Speak Life.......

Generous Deal or No Deal?

Generous deal (or no deal?)
12:00 AM CST on Sunday, February 26, 2006
Linda Stewart Ball
Want to get on a national TV game show where you don't have to eat bugs or frogs? Take a tip from Cheryl Jackson of Plano: Ask, and it shall be given – maybe.
When Ms. Jackson heard that NBC was creating a new one-hour show called Deal or No Deal, she sent an audition tape to every name she found associated with the program on the Internet.
If she won the $1 million prize, she told the producers, she'd give to her church, DayStar Deliverance Ministries. The church, where her mom happens to be the pastor, recently moved from Plano to Richardson. It pretty much needed everything, from pews to the pulpit.
Somehow her pitch worked. She got to be a contestant on the wacky show hosted by Howie Mandel.
The network flew Ms. Jackson, her husband, kids and 30 choir members to Los Angeles for the taping.
Did she win the $1 million prize?
Ms. Jackson, who normally loves to talk, will only say: "You have to see this show. You're going to die laughing. We had a great time."
Deal airs at 7 p.m. Monday and Tuesday on NBC. You can watch it on the big screen with Ms. Jackson at Studio Movie Grill, 4721 W. Park Blvd. in Plano.

What will happen today?

It's Tuesday and I am struggling with everything, from being a mother and wife to being a minister and fulfilling the call that God has required of me. Since everyday brings new mercies I am thankful that God has been merciful to me. I am blessed to be at home and to be able to allow God to order my steps. So the question is which direction will I be lead to by God today.
What will happen today? That's the question. I told you about sending a letter to Mr. Goldberg ( whom I have never met) well through our world of technology I was sent a confirmation email that the package had been shipped and delivered so what will happen next? Hence, I think I am changing my blog name to " Someone asked the Question". Let's see if it's available.

Will I receive a call today? Will my tile in my kitchen come up more than it was yesterday? Will the cracks going up to the ceiling in my house continue to go across the ceiling? Will I pray today? Will I read the Bible today? Will I say a kind word to encourage someone today? Will my eyes light up when my sons come into my presence today and will they notice it? Will I receive a call from NBC today? Will my friends receive a call from another show today? Will I get a check in the mail today? Will I appreciate every breathe I take today? Someone asked the question and I will give the answers tonight.

Who is Cheryl Jackson? The Dallas Morning news article

February 27, 2006

Cheryl Jackson -- tonight!
Ever heard of her? She's this shameless self-promoting ball of enthusiasm, a really nice lady. She calls herself a "professional beggar." And she writes press releases about herself and her adventures. Here's the latest:

Plano,Texas Feb 27, 2006 How many times will we Jackson appear on national television before she hits the jackpot? Cheryl Jackson is a mono maniac on a mission, from the moment she received an exclusive interview with Oprah Winfrey, she set out to create awareness for her non-profit, The Touch Ministry, to raise money to help others. This time her platform is on NBC hit game show Deal or No Deal. NBC flew 36 people including members of her choir from Texas to California for the chance of a lifetime.

On Sunday, February 19th before 18,000 people Donald Trump told Jackson “Your show is going to have great ratings”. Jackson’s show will appear tonight at 7:00 p.m. CST before season four of the Apprentice. Jackson’s appearance will be the most thrilling, hair raising and spirited hour of television next week. Jackson says all I want to do is use my life to make a difference and to prove that if you give it comes back to you. Studio Movie Grill in Plano, Texas will use their big screen to air Jackson’s show on Monday and Tuesday.. -END-

About Cheryl Jackson
For over ten years,Cheryl Jackson has used her life to help enrich the lives of others. She is a professional SMILE manufacturer and a proud wife, mother and motivator. She laughs at being described as the worlds greatest struggling philanthropist.


Posted 5:43 PM Michael Landauer

Deal or No Deal?

Okay :it's official, I am the biggest loser on season one of the number one game show in America, Deal or No Deal. I was so devastated to walk away with Five dollars especially after I watched so many others win a nice chunk of change. I felt literally stupid. I felt like I had let the entire world down. After all it was just a simple game show that you pick suitcases for crying out loud but silly me, I kept on picking them until I was left with FIVE dollars.

There had to be a reason for this and I was going to find out the answer. After months of watching the show I realized why I was the sacrificial lamb. I spoke to hundreds of people who told me they could NOT have survived what I went through. Some said they would have yelled at their husband or literally passed out on the stage. Others said they would have just screamed until their tongues fell out. For me it was just a lesson to show the world how to lose and still love and to appreciate everything life has to offer you.

Well, all that sounds great but after months of prayer I asked God to give me another chance. After all I wanted to use the money to change my life and those around me. So here's the good part,I was reading an article on MSNBC titled What Deal or No Deal wants and as I got to the bottom of the article I see a quote from the PRESIDENT of Endemol his name is David Goldberg and he said "There are no plans for an all-star version, in which big winners would be brought back to compete. What the show might consider instead would be bringing back players who went home with really small amounts of money. Said David Goldberg, "If you went away with $5, it might be nice to bring that person back and give them a chance."

Now I'm no genius, I may not know three things or two things but one thing I do know for sure, I AM THAT PERSON THAT WON FIVE DOLLARS on Deal. In fact I am the only person that won five dollars so is it possible? Will God answer my prayers. I sing a song that says he is a God of a second chance, I can't wait to see the outcome of this one. I have to admit I have the nervous (you know what) and I love it!!!!

What a deal this would be!!

By the way, I sent Mr. Goldberg a follow up newsletter about that five dollars and he received it today so time keeps on ticking. I'll be back.

Speak Life
I will be a millionaire this year.

Did you see Cheryl Jackson on NBC 5 ?

I was on television again today... NBC did a fantastic story on MatchMyMoney. If I saw that story I would mail money to me :) They talked about my website and they wanted to know about Howie and the Deal or No Deal cast and crew. They invited others to donate to my site. It was so fun.
Thanks NBC

Have you heard of Kirk Franklin?

I met Kirk Franklin for the first time in an airport. Later I worked with him as a stage manager at a concert. Kirk and his wife Tammy are wonderful people and I saw him at the Stellar awards. He got me into Sony's VIP only concert. He is down to earth and extremely friendly. I am loving the new Hero cd.
Kirk Franklin.... need I say more

Is that Cheryl Jackson with Evander Holyfield?

Life can throw some hard punches and so how befitting for me to meet one of the greatest boxers of all time and it's great to see he's still normal so what does that mean? It means that no matter what we go through in life we can bouce back. I mean this man has been beat on, beat up and on June 28,1997 Mike Tyson bit off part of his EAR but he's still smiling, so what are you going through today that you don't think you can handle because honestly, you can handle anything.

Isn't Vickie Winans one of the best female gospel singers?

With songs like We shall behold him and Stay with me, I love Vickie. She has such class and she keeps it real. She never treats you like shes better than you. I met Vickie several years ago and we have since developed a wonderful friendship and business relationship that I cherish. She is first class ALL THE WAY!

What would Oprah do?

Nancy"Owner of Mama's Diner bought Oprah tickets"Fan Asked: What Would Oprah Do?
Oprah auctioned her clothes to raise money; Fan auctions Oprah's tickets to raise money

Plano, TX (BlackNews.com) - The way Cheryl Jackson sees it, four tickets to Oprah Winfrey's sold-out Dallas tour could buy a week's worth of groceries for several needy families. Proceeds from the sale of those tickets could get a few nice interview clothes and maybe pay a month's rent for some laid-off workers.

Ultimately, the tickets could help fund a Plano charity that does that and more for North Texas women. Mrs. Jackson, who says she's Ms. Winfrey's No. 1 fan and has a signed shirt to prove it, is auctioning off the tickets on eBay. The Plano woman paid $185 each for her tickets Wednesday.

"I've seen people pay $2,000 for them," Mrs. Jackson said. "If people are going to pay crazy money for these tickets, it might as well be for a good cause, right?" I have been to the LYBL conference and Oprah is breath taking. I cried the first two hours just hearing her speak live, said Mrs. Jackson. Jackson will use the cash to help underwrite the upcoming Women in Transition conference that her mother, Bishop Minnie Hawthorne, pastor of DayStar Deliverance Ministries in Plano, began in 1995.

Is that a 2,000.00 check for Oprah tickets?

Cheryl auctions Oprah tickets for charity and receives 2,000.00 to help needy families in the community. She found a new friend at Mama's Diner.